This popped up on a random Facebook post two weeks ago and was well worthy of capturing in a blog entry. These are quotes from the Star Wars film franchise that had sexual connotations or about a person’s sex life, when read out of context. I have tried to get the quotes right, but to be honest, there’s major variations on the web and I couldn’t stomach watching Phantom Menace again to validate anything.
Let’s face it, some of these are hilarious. I have deliberately shuffled the order of these and have included content from the entire franchise thus far. Enjoy.
Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?
The force is strong with this one.
It’s a trap!
How are we doing? Same as always. That bad huh?
He’s more machine now…
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.
Pull out, you’re not doing any good back there!
That’s no moon.
Laugh it up Fuzzball.
There’s an awful lot of moisture in here.
Oh yes, that’s very good. I like that … oh, something’s not right because now I can’t see.
You have failed me for the last time.
Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.
Never tell me the odds.
It’s no good, I can’t maneuver.
At that speed, will you be able to pull out in time?
Will someone get this walking carpet out of my way?
No, no, no! This one goes there, that one goes there!
Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Into the garbage chute Flyboy!
Did You Know That Wasn’t Me?
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
I have felt him, my master.
Get in there you big furry oaf. I don’t care what you smell.
Stay on target. Stay on target!
I was expecting someone with your reputation to be a little, older.
Myself, the boy, two droids, and no questions asked.
You were right about one thing master, the negotiations were short.
I gotta bad feeling about this.
It’s not a problem if you don’t look up.
You underestimate my power!
I can’t shake ‘em!
You do have your moments. Not many, but you have them.
Aren’t you a little short for a Stormtrooper?
I’m endangering the mission, I shouldn’t have come.
Hey, we don’t serve their kind here!
An elegant weapon not as clumsy or rampant as a blaster!
Good! Good! Let the hate flow through you.
It’s Working! It’s Working!
Shut him up or shut him down!
Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now.
You’re all clear kid, now let’s blow this thing and go home!
No point getting upset about it. It was a fair move.
Don’t get cocky!
What an incredible smell you’ve discovered…
Sister! So, you have a twin sister!
Intensify forward firepower!
What I told you was true…From a certain point of view…
In my experience there’s no such thing as luck.
I have the high ground.
Impressive … most impressive.
What is thy bidding, my master?
I’m looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master.
All too easy!
Your powers are weak, old man.
Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.
Negative! It didn’t go in. It just impacted on the surface.
And I thought they smelled bad on outside.
Be careful not to choke on your aspirations, Director.
I can’t hold them.
Great shot, kid. That was one in a million!
Doesn’t look like much, but has it where it counts.
This had better work.
I’d rather kiss a Wookie.
Look at the size of that thing!
Oh, no! We’ll never get it out now!
Hang on back there!
They’ll be back and in greater numbers.
No. I don’t like you either.
Who are you calling ‘Scruffy?’
This is no cave…
Put that thing away, you’re gonna get us all killed!
Something just touched my leg…
Punch it Chewie.
It’s not my fault!
Turn her around!
I expect to be well paid. I’m in it for the money.
They may come around for another pass.
Nice girl! Either I’m gonna kill her or I’m beginning to like her!
This ain’t like dusting crops, boy!
Sorry about the mess…
Is that possible?” “I never ask that question until after we’ve done it.”
You my fire when ready.
Bring me Solo.
The target area is only two meters wide…
I didn’t hit it THAT hard…must’ve had some sort of self-destruct.
I guess you don’t know everything about women yet.
Use your harpoons!
But how am I to know the good side from the bad?
It’s risky but we can’t hold out much longer.
Why does everyone want to go back to Jakku?!
I’m out of it for a little while and suddenly everyone’s got delusions of grandeur…
I thought you were blind!
I’m afraid our furry companion has gone and done something rather rash.
But these are my friends!
Uh, everything under control. Situation normal.
Boring conversation anyway.
I just got this bucket back together.I’m not going to let something tear it apart.
I love you. I know.
“Stop taking my hand!
“I have something here for you, your Father wanted you to have this when you were old enough but your Uncle wouldn’t allow it.”
You’re far too trusting…
There has been an awakening. Have you felt it?
Take your father’s place by my side
The Resistance will not be intimidated.
So. You got your reward and you’re just leaving, then?
Alright, so what did I miss? Feel free to add in the comments section.