As a true crime author, I occasionally watch true crime shows when they catch my attention. Honestly, I’m usually busy doing research or writing. One that I do watch every Saturday night is A&E’s Live PD. It is reminiscent of Cops, but is filmed live, with six departments across the country. Where Cops was always edited, with Live PD, you get unscripted police work as it happens. There’s some grittiness with this approach. You are seeing situations unfold as they happen, which adds to the tension.
Needless to say, I’ve become a Live PD junkie.
The show is hosted by Dan Abrams with two co-hosts, usually Sgt. Sean “Sticks” Larkin and Tom Morris Jr. – both law enforcement officers. These officers are there for context, and a bit of comedy relief. Dan throws out some incredibly funny one-liners (kudos to his staff who must be feeding him these lines). It’s not fun and games, these are serious situations. The humor helps take the edge off of what are very tense situations.
Live PD is a blast to watch. Some nights it is slower than others, but some nights develop their own themes, drunk-driving, warrants being served, animal issues, etc. It is unrehearsed, unedited, unscripted, and undeniably a lot of fun to watch.
Things I have learned watching Live PD
- When your response to the question, “Do you have any outstanding warrants?” is “I don’t think so,” then you have outstanding warrants.
- “Those aren’t my drugs!” has never gotten a person out of being arrested.
- Everyone that has an outstanding warrant just took care of it. “I was just down to the courthouse yesterday and took care of it!”
- Every car that is borrowed from a friend has drugs or guns in it that the driver has no knowledge of (NOT).
- No matter how fast you are, your ass can’t outrun a police dog.
- There are a lot of creative places to hide drugs in the car – and police know all of them. The ones they don’t know, their dogs do.
- Yelling at officers rarely works to your advantage.
- If you keep smoking that cigarette when they put you in cuffs, you are not tough – you are more likely about to be arrested.
- The police dogs are characters just like the human officers.
- Domestic abuse is not just men abusing women.
- Millennial’s think they know more about the law than law enforcement and love being confrontational with officers. “You can’t pull me over, you don’t have probable cause. This is unconstitutional.” They are so cute – and often guilty.
- If your whole family comes out to yell at the officers, all at the same time, someone is going to jail.
- Getting “pissy” with an officer is a great way to get a ride to the jail.
- If you are asking questions about your how to do your field sobriety test, you have already failed.
- On a given Saturday night, 90% of the cars in America are driven by drunks or people smoking weed.
- Most people with drugs in their car are pulled over for something incredibly minor, like a busted tail light. Yo, druggies, keep your cars maintained and you might not get your ass pulled over.
- If you are asleep in your truck on a road because you are drunk, you are still going to jail (in most jurisdictions).
- Apparently my wife and I are the only people in America driving with our licenses, registration and proof of insurance.
- A lot of people are driving out there on suspended licenses.
- Crying doesn’t get you off with officers…nor does pleading.
- When confronted with flashing lights, if you don’t pull over immediately, you are guilty of something. “I was just looking for a safe place to pull over officer…”
- If you are out with no shirt on, body covered in tattoos, and the police show up – you are guilty of something.
- Officers are not very happy when you call them, they show up, and you are on your phone and continue your conversation. Here’s a tip, hang up the freaking phone!
- My house is pristine compared to 95% of the homes that police enter. Many are hoarder situations.
- When the police tell you to keep your hand up, and you don’t, you deserve to have your ass tossed to the pavement.
- Officers don’t need your life story when they ask, “So what’s going on here?” In fact, the more you tell them, usually the more guilty you are. Example: “This whole thing with my ex-wife started three years ago when we were in Miami…”
- Anyone pulled over for drunk driving has only had, one or two drinks when asked. No one ever says, “I’ve had eight or nine drinks…I’ve lost count.”
- If the police are showing up for the second time for the evening, someone is going to jail.
- My wife and I have actually practiced field sobriety tests while watching Live PD and have come to the conclusion we would fail them while stone sober.
The show is so popular there are people out there that host Live PD parties Saturday night. The live tweets on Twitter during the show are hilarious to read as you watch.