Blood Upon the Canopy (April Fool’s 2019 Part 1)

Eject

Blood Upon the Risers is an American WWII paratrooper song about a paratrooper whose chute does not open.  It appears several times in the HBO series, Band of Brothers.  Band Of Brothers Blood On The Risers

I always thought that song was great.  Then it hit me, we don’t have a good BattleTech song – one that captures big stompy ‘Mechs and particle projection cannons, trueborns, and stuff.  So, this year, as part of my annual April Fool’s Day offering, I present to you – Blood Upon the Canopy – sung to the same tune:

 

He was a green MechWarrior who trembled with fright

He made sure his restraining straps were put on good, secure and tight

Outside of the cockpit he heard the artillery rumble and roar

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die

Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die

Glory, glory what a hell of a way to die

He aint’ punching out no more

 

The incoming LRMs tore his right torso to shreds

The laser beam hit his cockpit turning everything bright red

Warning lights flickered on filling his heart with dread

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

His autocannon barrage was poorly aimed and went wild

The Clanner on the other side simply broke into a smile

He knew the Clansman would leave his battered body defiled.

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

He unleashed his Alpha Strike making his cockpit a burning hell

The Clanner shrugged off the damage but he never even fell.

Inside his neurohelmet the sweat of fate he could only smell.

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

He juked hard to the right, his arm was blown clean off

He was tossed about the cockpit hard and jostled pretty rough

The Clanner called to him asking, “You are toast quaiff?”

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

His SRM missile rack was pounded into useless scrap,

His PPC sparked, a round had turned into nothing but crap.

Only then did he realize his lance had been led into a trap.

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

His jumpjets flared and he rose up atop a brilliant blue flame

He came down hard, his left leg twisted and now it is just maimed

The evil Clanner taunted him, “They will never remember your name!”

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

His missile ammo cooked off with a rumble through his CASE

His heat sinks burst and coolant sprayed all over the battlespace.

One salvo cratered his reactor housing, leaving not a trace.

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

He grabbed the ejection ring and pulled it back with all his might

The cockpit canopy blew and shot him straight up out of sight.

The Clanner locked onto him with his PPC, purely out of spite

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

He felt the blast shoot over him and into the bright blue sky

He saw the parachute disintegrate and he let out a cry.

The Clanner called out to him, “Freebirth prepare to die!”

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

His BattleMech erupted in a massive ball of flame

He plummeted to the earth with no one left to blame

He hit the ground and his body was curmbled and left maimed

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

He hit the ground, the sound was “SPLAT”, his blood went spurting high;

His comrades, they were heard to say “A HELL OF A WAY TO DIE!”

He lay there, rolling ’round in the welter of his gore

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

As he lay there with his busted knees thrust over the top of his head

Then came the moment every Mechwarrior comes to fear and dread

“Tell my mother I didn’t fail House Davion, and I wish I wasn’t dead!”

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

We buried what was left on a  hillside not far from our post

We knew that MechWarrior well and were sorry he was toast.

He’ll never fight the heat or have to fear that he will in his cockpit roast

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

Wayne Waco, Jamie Wolf and Archer Christofori

Horse, Aiden Pryde and even Natasha Kerensky

In Valhalla they await his coming with stein of Timbriqui

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Chorus

 

(slowly, solemnly; about half the speed of the other verses)

There was blood upon the ejection seat and remains of his chute,

Intestines were a-dangling from his MechWarrior jumpsuit,

He was a mess, they picked him up, and poured him from his boots,

He ain’t punching out no more

 

Personally, I would love to hear this sung at GenCon this year, either at Masters and Minions or at the Catalyst Update Presentation. Print out copies – bring ‘em, sing ‘em.

2 thoughts on “Blood Upon the Canopy (April Fool’s 2019 Part 1)

  1. Pingback: The ilClan Sourcebook Outline (April Fool’s 2019 Part II – Notes From The Bunker

  2. Pingback: Blaine Pardoe’s Annual BattleTech April Fool’s Prank 2020 – The BattleTech Kickstarter – Fulfillment of the Canon Characters – Notes From The Bunker

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